Now I'm gonna dedicate a few posts to a few people that really played an important part of my life this year.
Priscilla: I just wanna thank you so much for being my close friend and being my only close friend who still stick by my side all the way up till now. I'm really grateful to have you as a friend and I'm sorry if i have done anything to hurt you. At the start of the year, we got really close together and I started to have feelings for you. You seem to reciprocate it so I thought I stood a chance to be with you and so I decided to confess. When you rejected, I was upset. I really wanted to be with you at that time and I really hoped you'll give me a chance. But you rejected and I felt upset and disappointed. You said you treated me like a substitute to your ex and I felt slightly angry cause you led me on and you sent my hopes crushing. It ain't nice to do that you know? :( But now when i look back, I also realised i treated you like a substitute too. You were a substitute to Jieqi and i failed to realised it. Thankfully you didn't accept me or I'll be hurting you. Actually, we'll both be hurting each other. It made me believe the quote "Every cloud has a silver lining" even more. And after that we stopped contacting each other already. Until 1 month before A's, you texted me during Hari Raya to seek forgiveness for everything you've done. I take it that you're talking about the rejection. It's okay haha. Like I said, it would be better for us not to be together. Even if we didn't treat each other like substitutes. I will not be good enough for you. You'll eventually leave me for someone better :) So yeah. Don't feel bad about it. We chatted and you told me you just had a breakup. I was shocked. I didn't even know you were attached in the first place. What's more shocking is knowing your ex's identity. Who would have thought it would be my very own best friend? I felt so dumb not knowing about your relationship with him. Both of you are close to me and I didn't even know. I don't know whether to accept or condone what he did. Cause i might have done the same if i was him. It's hard keeping a long distance relationship going especially since you going uni. He's probably scared that you will like uni guys and leave him. The truth is you like Yifong now don't you? Maybe you can argue that it's because you're not attached with him anymore so you can now like another guy. But who knows? Maybe even if you're still attached with him, you'll still like him. You never know. I seem like I'm talking bad about you and defending him instead but I'm not. I'm just saying maybe. And I'm not defending him. I'm just stating what i feel. On the other hand, I really agree with what he did cause it isn't nice to leave someone just like that after all the times you guys have been through together whether good or bad. I hope you'll be able to move on in this new year and stay happy :) Don't give up on all guys just because of him. I'm sure you will find someone that will treasure you and make you feel special. And that guy will stay for the rest of your life. I wish you all the best for next year be it in your studies or in finding the special one haha. Before I end this post, I just wanna say sorry for everything I've done in 2014 that has made you sad or upset. Sorry for pushing you away sometimes when I am feeling down. I'm just afraid that I'll expect too much from you and have my expectations crushed. And about the question on whether i still have feelings for you, I don't have any more feelings for you i think. Haha i shall end off this post with a quote; "Expectation is the root of all heartache" - William Shakespeare
Shirlene: Hey, it's the last day of the year and I just wanna thank you so much for everything you've done for me this year. Haha all those little things like staying back with me to study till night means a lot to me :) You're a really great friend. And what makes it more wonderful is that you became more than a friend, you became my daughter :D Haha! My first ever daughter and I got a short and cute one heh!! :) Who would have ever thought we would be this close from the moment you stepped into PD 31 haha! I was quite afraid to teach you at first cause I suck at guitar and you'll probably judge me :( But you didn't haha! And from then on I called you Westspring girl heh! ^^ Haha after that day, every guitar practice onwards, I look forward to seeing you haha! Omg can't believe I'm saying this! Each practice was fun teasing you about giraffe and your height and everything :) Thanks for making guitar practice more enjoyable haha. It was nice to have my own daughter playing in the same section as me :D Then PAC came and it was our one and only concert together :( Haha! PAC was a blast and I had a lot of fun! And we finally took a photo together and that was to be our only photo together :( After PAC ended, I stepped down soon after. And when you told me you were applying for exco, I was so excited! Haha and you got the pres position :D Pres shirlene FTW! I know the ensemble will be in good care under your leadership :) Soon after I stepped down, Jieqi left me. You were there to listen and make me feel better :) Although I ignored your advice, I know you wanted the best for me and had my interests at heart. Thanks so much :) You were the only one who cared so much about me at that point of time when i was hurting. I still remembered once when i was upset and i was walking around the school and you followed me. You even told Daph that i was crying. Thanks for caring :) Sorry for making you stay back even though you were sick that day >< The next thing that happened was your breakup with giraffe. It was so sudden. I didn't expect it at all. Both of you were doing fine and the next thing you told me was both of you are not together anymore. I was angry at him for doing this to you. HOW CAN FEELINGS POSSIBLY FADE... Unless he has found a new girl of course and that was the case. That bastard. Hope he won't last long if he were to be with the girl. But at least he told you early bah. Rather than two timing you, it's better that he made it clear right from the start. Sorry I didn't do much to help you.. I really didn't know how :( You did a lot for me in overcoming Jieqi but I didn't do much to help you get over him. Sorry :( After that, we seem to get further and further away from each other. No more late night study. We didn't talk much either compared to last time. You were always busy :( On one hand, I can understand cause you have your duties as a pres and also promos. But somehow I feel that it's not that simple. As the saying goes, "No matter how busy a person is, if they really care, they will make time for you." I don't expect you to stay back with me everyday. I just want you to make an effort.. A little bit will do :( But it's okay bah. What's past is past. I don't blame you haha. Cause I know I can be annoying and irritating sometimes and studying with me is not productive. Haha but you let me send you to school yayy :D Even though you seem unwilling, I'm still thankful that you didn't make me stop :) Although the trip is short and waiting for you can be long and tiring, it's worth it to see my daughter every morning ^^ Haha but each day, we still grew further apart..
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