Happy Birthday! :D

Happy blessed 20th birthday JieQi! :D Finally its your turn to hit the big 2 and soon it will be my turn :O OMG WE ARE GROWING UP TOO FAST :( Hehe its so wonderful that your birthday this year falls on a Sunday ;x Hope you celebrated your birthday with him today and enjoyed yourself :) I'm sure you had a lot of birthday wishes today from your friends and you will lots of prezzies from them tmr :P I wish i could wish you as well but i guess i can't since you still blocked me on whatsapp and FB sighpie.. But its okay :) I will just wish you in my heart <3 From the recent photos i saw of you, you seem to be getting prettier hehe :D CHIOBU PATOOTIE ;P Hope you are coping well with your studies right now and not getting too stressed over it :( I just want you to know I am always here for you whenever you need me. I really really hope one day i will be able to see you and talk to you once again and when that day comes i will be the happiest guy in the world :) Anyways i hope you will continue to last long with weicong and hope to see you and him getting married in the future hehe :P Its been like 4 years you've been together with him and i am happy that you guys have managed to go through so much together. You were right, its not worth it to lose someone like him just because of me. I will feel guilty for the rest of my life if that happens. Dont worry, i will find my own happiness one day and I will be fine. I just need to hang on for another year and i'm sure things will get better in uni like you said. Okay i will end it here for now and i just wanna wish a happy birthday once again and i hope you had a great day today :) I will always remember your birthday and shirlene's cause both falls on the 13th hehe. People might say 13 is an unlucky number but to me its such a lucky number :) Goodbye jieqi :) Till we meet again one day...... <3

Just dreamt of JQ again last night. It was a happy one this time, I dreamt that we were both back to being so close with each other, laughing, chatting like there's no tomorrow. I was really really happy at that time and it's a wonderful feeling that i will never get to feel again. When i woke up, i just felt so sad that it was just a dream cause it felt so real. Its so unfair to see guys being able to be close and being good friends with her without even trying and here I am trying my best but i know i will never be good enough to be her friend. 2 years and 3 months have passed since she left but i still miss her all the same, maybe even more. Its so painful to know that you are not even worth anything to anyone. All the people who left can carry on their lives normally without feeling any sadness or regret but here i am facing the full brunt of it. Am i really so worthless?